Jimbster Pokémon Saga - Chapter 22 - Jealousy with Jakeoz

Jimbster: Lets go to Celadon City! It's just West
Umbreon: Breon!
Jimbster: LETS G-
Jakeoz: Hi Jimbster!
Jimbster: WAHH! Jakeoz? What are you doing here?
Jakeoz: Just thought I would check on you, How many badges do you have?
Jimbster: About 3 I think.
Jakeoz: You got catching up, I have 4.
Jimbster: 5?!?!?!?!!
Jakeoz: Boulder Badge, Rain Badge, Thunder Badge, Earth Badge
Jimbster: Woah! Thats alot of badges.
Jakeoz: Where are you heading to?
Jimbster: Um..... Celadon City.
Jakeoz: Arent you heading to Saffron?
Jimbster: Nah. It seems to Tough. I want to get some other Pokémon first!
Jakeoz: Ok........
Jimbster: Well I'll see you soon
Jakeoz: Farewell.....

-Route 8-
Jimbster: Hmm.... Some bikers are there..
Biker 1: HAHAHHAHA! We beat up that little Wiener Kid!
Biker 2: Hillarious!
Jimbster: Hey! Beating up people is wrong!
Biker 1: Shut up kid. Or I'll pound ya. Hahhhaha!
Jimbster: OoH! I'm scared. Grow up fat boys
Biker 1: WHY YOU PUNK- GO KOFFING!
Koffing: Koffing! (Poison!)
PokeDex: Koffing, The Poison Gas Pokémon, Koffing are very dangerous to Humans, and the Pre-Evolved form of Weezing
Jimbster: UMBREON! USE PSYCHIC TO KILL THAT KOFFING
Umbreon: Breon! (Psychic attacK!)
Koffing: kOFFFFFingg... (Outt!)
Biker 1: DAMN! MY GOOD KOFFING!
Biker 2: Why you vicious little- GO EKANS!
Ekans: EKANS!
PokeDex: Ekans, The Snake Pokémon, and the Pre-Evolved form of Arbok, There known ability is Intimidate, Which lowers attack.
Jimbster: UMBREON PSYCHIC AGAIN!
Umbreon: UMMMBR REEEON! (Psychic attack!)
Ekeans: EKANSSS! (Ouch!)
Biker 1: RUN AWAY!
Biker 2: I DONT LIKE KIDS ANY MOOOOOOOORE

-Meanwhile-
Jimbster: Hmmm... A Sign....
Sign: Underground tunnel leads to Celadon City, Please be careful UnderGround!
Jimbster: Hmmm! Lets go

-Enters Tunnel-
Man: Did you notice that there is a fat Pokémon blocking the Bike road?
Jimbster: Really?
Man: Cant remember what its called.....
PokeDex: Snorlax, The Fat Pokémon, Snorlax are very large in size and are known to eat over 10,00 Pounds of Food.
Jimbster: Cool! I better catch that Pokémon soon!
Man: Also be careful underground, Its very Dark and can get you lost.
Jimbster: I'll be ok, Thanks though.

-Goes Underground-
Jimbster: Hmm! Its Dark..... WAIT! Umbreon can light this up! Umbreon, Try lighting up the Darkness.
Umbreon: breon.... UMB! (Ok.... YES!)
Jimbster: Great! Now we can get there.
Umbreon: Breon........ (Yay!)
Jimbster: Hmm sure is Dark down here, Alot of stuff. Heyy! Whats this?

-Jimbster found a PokeBall!-
Jimbster: Whats this?
Umbreon: Breon....
Jimbster: Hmm! It appears to be Locked... I'll find out who it is first, That Pokémon would be Private.. HEY IT DISSAPEARD!
PokeDex: Pokeball Transferred to Box.
Jimbster: I WANT IT BACK!!
PokeDex: Please get to nearest box to Deposit and Switch over Pokémon.
Jimbster: Rarrrr!
Umbreon: Breon...
Jimbster: Well lets just keep on walking, We'll almost be there.
Umbreon: Breon!
Jimbster: Hmm.... Its starting to get Brighter now. Umbreon Return!
Jimbster Thoughts: I need to get stronger then Jakeoz, That Pokeball lost could help me become a Master. I need that Pokeball to help me get stronger. But how?
Jimbster: -Sigh-

-Flashback-
Jimbster (Younger): Weee!
School Teacher: Now kids. Time for a Practice battle!
Jimbster (Younger): Yipee!
School Teacher: Jimbster VS Garry
Jimbster (Younger): I'll win! hahahhahaha!
Garry: Your pathetic...
School Teacher: Jimbster, You get a Ghastly and Garry you get a Kadabra.
Jimbster: Ghastly, Use... Uh... Curse!
Garry: Hang in there and use Confusion!
Kadabra: KADDDA BRA!
Ghastly: GHHHAST...Ly... (Owwuwuweueeu)
School Teacher: Garry wins.....
Jimbster: Wahh...
Kids: hehe, You call yourself a Trainer? Your pathetic, You've never won a battle! Your so weak!
Jakeoz: Cmon Jimbster. You can battle better than that! Focus more. Stop getting distracted!

-Back to reality-
Jimbster Thoughts: I've might have beaten Brock, Misty and Lt Surge. But I have to be Stronger.
Jimbster: GRRR! Hey we're almost there!

-Leaves Tunnel-
Jimbster: Woah! We're in Celadon City! HOLY F(%$

I think it's ironic that Umbreon lights up an area...

I know shoudlnt jolteon do that?

I agree with Keron and Link.

Jimb, no offence, but your story is non sensical.

And don't say "Well if you don't like it don't comment." It's constructive criticism.

Jimb...I suggest you edit this story or re-write it

I have to agree with Link again

LOL and its chapter 22? what happended to 1-21?

Why the (word censored) do you have to comment on it with crap?

All you say is its (word censored) (word censored).

(word censored) hell. It takes me ages to think these up, You just comment on it with (word censored) (word censored)

Jimb. You don't get it. We're not insulting you. We're giving you constructive criticism. We're not insulting you.

Ffs kid, and then you call us immature..

I'm a kid? lol
Your just a kid who got drugged by your "SO CALLED BOYFRIEND" Ben

Learn to take crits.

lol.
You need to learn to take crits.

*Facepalm*

Looks like you have no witty comeback.

Constructive Criticism
Part of Speech : Noun
Definition : Criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer or possible solutions.

How are you even giving advice?
All your saying that "Its to short wah wah wah"

Like I've said before, This is to discuss about it, Not to post pathetic comments saying "You hate it"

I never said that.

I said that your stories have to make sense, try to improve the plot, diolouge, and development.

You just can't go

Miltank: I'm off to buy some bread!
Cherrim: Ok!
(12 hours later)
Miltank: I'm back!
Cherrim: Yay *eays bread* omnomnom
Miltank: nomnom.

The end.

Whats wrong with that?
I cant just bore the viewers by going on

MilktanK: Lets go to tescos
Moo: Ok!
Milktank: We're nearly at tescos!
Moo: Yes we are!
Miltank: We're at tescos!
Moo: Ok!

0_0 whats so cool about tescos?

O_O huh?

XD

Apparently Naomi says my stories "Rush"

How are they rushing?

Thought and Logic. Not that hard.

This is failure.

JimbsterOnline wrote:

Apparently Naomi says my stories "Rush"

How are they rushing?

And if you can't handle constructive criticism, the least you can do is not post the story.

This is madness!

I dont even care what you think.
Go and debate somewhere else. xD